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| sexpertise • reviews • essay & commentary |
10.06.04: essay & commentary
Annika Stratford: Welcome to the Festival |
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Our relationship with mainstream popular morality has historically
been an antagonistic one. "Whore," says popular morality with
skeptically raised eyebrows, in a pinched undertone - a breathy
little exhalation like a snake's hiss.
Well. Perhaps we don't think any more of popular morality than it thinks
of us. Maybe we don't need it, what with its constipated psyche,
and its predilection for reality TV. But does this mutual rejection
leave us whores inhabiting a moral void, a floating world deprived
of moral gravity?
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05.17.04: essay & commentary
Raven Kaldera: When Sex Is a Drag (Part III) |
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| The background for this argument is fifty years of assumptions
by sexual researchers that women don't have the kind of nasty,
humiliating, ridiculous-looking sexual fetishes that men do. Women
are above that sort of thing; their sexuality is healthy and normal-looking
- or on the other end of the speculative spectrum, prudish and
uptight. Getting a charge from tottering around in high heels
or lacy panties is something that comes from too much testosterone,
and if a woman puts on high heels or picks up a riding crop or
straps on a dildo, she's doing it to please her partner. This
myth has been swallowed whole not only by men but by many lesbians
as well; thus the famed debate over the existence of leatherdykes.
And if women don't have paraphilias, then they certainly don't
cross-dress, or at least not for sexual purposes. If a woman puts
on a suit and tie, she's doing it to break gender stereotypes,
to take on butch masculine power, to perform drag....not to get
herself hot and wet. And what goes for women, this argument continues,
goes for people who started out women as well. |
01.28.04: essay & commentary
Raven Kaldera: When Sex Is a Drag (Part II) |
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| Sometimes when you drag out an opposite-sex persona - so to speak
- you find that it's been stashed in the same mental closet as
all the things that you don't like about the opposite gender,
and they've become stuck all over it like barnacles, or growths.
They won't flake off until that persona has been exposed to the
air for a while, and gotten a chance to rub up against real people
and real circumstances. This may mean plowing through years of
humiliating stereotypical behavior until that part of you evolves
and grows into a fuller human being. I've seen it again and again,
especially in people who are just starting to cross-dress or whose
CD persona only gets out once in a while. Stereotypes abound:
the trashy whore, the catty and manipulative upper-class bitch,
the irresponsible little girl, the supported housewife who never
has to work or deal with the outside world, the delicately passive
- and utterly useless - ornament, and, of course, Mom. |
11.09.03: creative nonfiction
Jennifer Bennett: Blood |
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| Experiencing such exuberance in cutting you is new to me. Though
I'd cut one person before, I never experienced the vicarious high,
all the beauty and satisfaction of cutting with none of the bad
after-effects -disconnectedness and limp, hopeless depression.
It's safe to cut you. I hope it's safe to let you cut me. I know
it's still not safe for me to cut myself. |
11.09.03: essay & commentary
Caitlin Hopkins: The Second First Time |
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| Not yet having surgery, there was not much personal experience
I could use to disagree with her. Yes, many people said they were
orgasmic after SRS. But there was not much more to go on. For
some reason, post-op transsexuals seemed hesitant in sharing specifics.
Post-op orgasms took on a mythic status, like some great white
elephant. |
09.30.03: essay & commentary
Elaine Miller: A Queerer Eye For the Play Party |
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| In my ten years of being a Vancouver pervert, and until I became
involved in helping organize the Studio Q queersexual events,
I had rarely seen fags and dykes do BDSM play alongside each other.
It's true that we aren't the same as each other, and sometimes
I get the feeling that we puzzle each other a bit. Some of the
nasty grrrls play with blood as if it were latex-covered-finger
paint. Ew! Ouch! Some of the boys describe themselves as cum-pigs
and felchers. What's up with that? |
09.30.03: essay & commentary
Raven Kaldera: When Sex Is a Drag |
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| There's an assumption that drag queens, in general, ought probably
to prefer to have sex as women, or porn-style "she-males". After
all, people reason, since gender is all tied up with sex, then
cross-gender dressing must be sexual in nature, so why dress up
like that unless you wanted to be the opposite sex in bed? Of
course, in real life, it's never that simple. |
08.27.03: interview & commentary
Heather Corinna: Dragged, Kicking and Screaming: Dykes Do Drag |
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| From the onset, Dykes Do Drag has been mixed gender, mixed orientation, mixed identity and
mixed media. Some of that diversity may well lie in how Spear
defines the term "dyke." She doesn't see it as a sexual identifier
so much as a holistic identity, encompassing social consciousness
and awareness, political activism, challenging the boundaries
of cultural and sexual programming, and an embracing of sexuality
as well as sexual creativity and whimsy. That given, the "dykes"
at DDD are not all biologically female or even female identified.
They're also not all lesbian. |
08.27.03: essay & commentary
Dahlia Schweitzer: Seeking Stardom by Stripping it Bare |
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| In both the adult and music industries, the woman is seen as an
entertainer, judged, at least partly, by her sex appeal. The stripper
and the singer are seen as exposers, revealing their bodies, their
souls, or both; threatening when they appear too much in control,
when the power outweighs the vulnerability quotient. When it becomes
apparent how thoughtfully the stripper/singer has constructed
her image, it becomes alarmingly obvious that she has dictated
her own objectification in a way that a Penthouse model cannot - cue the backlash. |
07.25.03: creative nonfiction
Rachel Kramer Bussel: Dirty |
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| Or this. She tells me to make myself come, something I've never
done in a front of a lover before. Her tone is one I haven't heard
from her; it's not admiration or a compliment or a question; it's
a command. I look up at her breathlessly, so eager to please her,
more eager to make her happy than myself (which in turn makes
my heart race). She's taken care of that though, by telling me
to come, and I hold my breath as I play with my clit. I want to
come for her, for me, for us. |
07.25.03: essay & commentary
James Elliott: He & The Kid |
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| When faced with nothing positive, will an opportunity present
itself with someone that can show you how being a gay man and
a single parent are done? |
05.05.03: creative nonfiction
Heather Corinna: On Your Mark |
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| They're the wardrobe door to my private Narnia. I look at them,
touch them, someone else sees them and asks or gasps and I'm right
back inside the last fevered place I left... Just one glance in
the mirror and the room smells like you, of fresh-mowed grass
and laundry soap on velvety, worn cotton. The smallest touch of
this sore spot or that one and you're here: your eyes shut tight,
lower lip sucked in slightly, the baby chick fuzz of your just-shorn
hair tickling my nipples and thighs. |
05.05.03: AiR craft series
Debra Hyde: Cha0s and Creativity |
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| Writing is a greedy creature. It sucks you into its demands and
then insists on your complete attention and dedication. It’s
egocentric. Just like children. When mine were little, I almost
completely abandoned writing. I tried writing short observational
essays -- what would now be labeled creative nonfiction -- but
no sooner would I draft something and the muse would hammer me
for line edits, than my toddler son would take his toy hammer
to my foot and demand equal time. |
02.14.03: creative nonfiction
Raven Kaldera: The Polyamory Contract |
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| E. We promise to be honest about our feelings at all times, never
to play the martyr in order to look generous, never to dismiss
a feeling on the basis of irrationality - all feelings are irrational
and will be taken seriously anyway - and never to give in to "shiny
new lover" syndrome, in which infatuation with the new toy precludes
attention to the old. |
02.14.03: essay & commentary
Anna Mills: Puck in the Mirror |
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| Writing queers me. A mischevious spirit lives in my writing process,
grinning at my blindness and plotting to overturn my complacent
self-understandings. In the course of the last decade, I have
clung to straight, lesbian, bisexual, femme, androgynous and genderqueer
identities. At each stage, my writing has hinted at the ways in
which I escape my current label. Writing challenges me to explore
and embrace my complex, shifting sexuality and gender. |
02.14.03: creative nonfiction
Raven Kaldera: Feminist on Testosterone: The View From An Intersexual FTM |
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| That's a quote on a button that I invented. I am a poet, not an
academic; a shaman, not a scholar. This essay has no footnotes.
It is entirely personal, and therefore suspect. Imagine me, sitting
there across from you - always across from you, not next to you,
because you are not yet sure how close you want to get to me.
Imagine me in my worn leather jacket, my old barn boots caked
with goat manure, my plaid flannel shirt; clothing selected not
to make a statement, but because it's easily washed after hard
labor. Imagine the gestures of my hands as I speak - large for
a woman's, small for a man's. They could be either. |
01.22.03: essay & commentary
Heather Corinna: For Jane and Sarah, On Their 30th Birthday |
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| I didn't have an abortion because I was pregnant due to rape or
incest. I didn't have an abortion solely because of finances.
I didn't have an abortion because I didn't want to ever have children.
I didn't have an abortion because of medical reasons. I had an
abortion because I did not want to bear or parent a child. |
12.23.02: essay & commentary
James Elliott: No Link, Just Think |
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| He went online to look for sex, just sex, and he never saw the
men when they entered his apartment and then entered him. He knew
he wanted, they knew what they wanted, but nobody ever bothered
to worry or care about the details. Did you get tested? Are you wearing a condom? Hey, what's your
name? It was only six men, but that is the right number for a game
of Russian Roulette. Only he spun the barrel and came out losing. |
11.25.02: essay & commentary
James Elliott: A Homo In the Making |
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Rob lived ninety miles north of Denver and was 18. He had already
traveled to Belgium, spoke French, smoked cigarettes, did the
occasional drug for recreational purposes, and was living with
his parents. Rob's hair was naturally brown and straight, parted
in the middle and touching his ears. Each ear lobe held a sterling
silver piercing, and he even had a matching nose piercing on his
left side. There were silver rings on his fingers, and he wore
a white dress shirt over a white undershirt, all neatly tucked
into his jeans, with a braided leather belt. His choice of fragrance
was Calvin Klein's Obsession for Men.
We weren't exactly a match made in Heaven, but who cares? Rob
paid attention to me and thought I was cute. |
11.25.02: essay & commentary
Rahne Alexander: All This, And Brains Too |
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| Perhaps Jaggar was reducing me to a curvy mimic in pigtails, aping
the non-natural fashion of natural women. The rest of the world
-- friends, lovers, employers, customers, the creeps who cat-call
me from their cars, and, most importantly, me -- sees me as female.
I get girl jobs at girl pay, where my girl opinions are ignored
and my girl appearance is my chief asset. Feminism still has a
lot of work to do. |
10.28.02: essay & commentary
R. Gay: Curious, This George |
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| There is a man in my life: a man whom I detest with an inexplicable,
yet white-hot passion. His name is George. He is a stuffed monkey,
soft, with wide black eyes, and a long tail that curves subtly
around his body when he is sleeping. He watches me, without blinking,
when I’m getting dressed, working on the computer in the living
room, taking a look in the refrigerator for something to snack
on. Really, it doesn’t matter what I’m doing -- there he is --
always watching. |
10.28.02: essay & commentary
Rahne Alexander: Girl Talk |
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| This autogynephilia concept was borne out of an effort to understand
why a person would want to become a woman, especially when she faces
opponents like genetics, hormones, the pink collar and the U.S.
Passport system. To willingly become a woman is illogical and
inexplicable when phallusphilia reigns supreme. Suddenly I'm slapping
my head and wishing I had a V-8. |
10.10.02: essay & commentary
Eli Clare: Sex, Celebration, and Justice: A Keynote for the Queerness and
Disability Conference 2002 |
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| When those straight, well-meaning disability studies profs ask
me ever so politely to come to their school and talk about disability
and sexuality, they aren’t requesting a presentation about heterosexuality,
much less the whole universe of sexual possibility. Rather, they
mean that other sexuality, that exotic sexuality, that queer sexuality. Or I
get asked by nondisabled queer activists to be part of panels
about sexuality and disability. I never know if they’re really
serious about doing anti-ableism education or if truly they just
want another believe-it-or-not freak show, a tell-all about what
crips do in bed. |
09.16.02: essay & commentary
Zoe West: The Princesses of Porno Power: Women's Erotic Comix |
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| I read Sassy's fashion spreads on dresses-over-jeans, combat boots, and punk
rock hair dye. In the evenings, I read my sister's smut and learned
about oral sex, masturbation, hymens, and fetishes. Archie and
Betty and Veronica were devoid of the prurient details that I
craved as a teenage girl. It took almost a decade until I discovered
that comic books can be feminist and sexy. |
09.16.02: creative nonfiction
Rahne Alexander: bullet riddles |
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| nebraska 1993 + john lotter and thomas nissen appointed themselves
sphinx to traveller brandon teena + their riddle: "what are you?"
+ brandon had to know that there was a price to be paid regardless
of whether he answered "boy" or "girl" + since neither answer
could satisfy this sphinx, brandon was killed + since sphinxes
never share their answers, we may never know what answer would
have been satisfactory to save him. |
09.16.02: essay & commentary
Raven Kaldera: Earthbound |
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| Day and night, the milkings, bracketing each day like sunrise
and sunset. The day milking, when I come out into green-and-blue
daylight, or perhaps grey rain; the night milking where I stare
at stars. |
08.01.02: review & commentary
Chris Hall: Two Women, One Year, and Hep C |
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| Even though it's been thirteen years since HCV was identified,
it remains an extremely misunderstood disease in the public mind.
Two San Francisco writers, Cara Bruce and Lisa Montanarelli are
both living with Hepatitis C, and have written a book called The First Year: Hepatitis C . |
08.01.02: essay & commentary
Sharona: My Virgin Mind |
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| I came into extreme, insistent sexual awareness at eleven, and
did not make sexual contact with another human being until I was
nineteen, and in my second year of college. I believe that these
facts, placed side by side, go a long way toward accounting for
my career as a writer. |
07.02.02: sex advice
Blowhard: Sex Tips with Attitude |
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| Archer Parr is a transgendered dandy, lapsed academic and experienced
sex toy peddler. An unrepentant know-it-all, he likes nothing
better than telling people what to do. And he's here to answer
your sex questions. |
06.01.02: essay & commentary
Hanne Blank: Learning to Love the Rain: The Queer Vitality of Sexuality Beyond
Identity |
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| I offer you sovereignty because I too am tired of not being accepted
for all the things I am. I offer you sovereignty in the face of
every one who ever asked “am I really bisexual if I....” or made
you feel that you weren’t bisexual enough, or queer enough, or
gay enough, or whatever enough to fit into their version of what
the people they gave those labels to ought to look like and act
like. I offer you sovereignty as the only crown fit to be worn
by the rebel, the outcast, the heretic, the renegade, the in-betweener,
the I-don’t-know-and-you-don’t-either, the one who takes their
half out of the middle. |
05.08.02: essay & commentary
Ariel Meadow Stallings: Globalgasm: Come Together Right Now |
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| I double-check my setup: the Hitachi Magic Wand is plugged into
the power-strip shared by my monitor and PC. My webcam is on,
the streaming software functioning with a decent refresh rate.
I load a separate cam window, turn on my speakers, and listen
to a man implore, “Take your time…we don't have to arrive at our
destination simultaneously. In fact, there's no pressure to arrive
at all. We just want to share a path and mindset and raise the
energy level around us.” |
04.11.02: essay & commentary
Heather Corinna & Hanne Blank: A Calm View from the Eye of the Storm
On hysteria, youth, and sexuality |
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| As we should all be aware from thousands of years of human history,
youth sexuality poses no real threat to us when it is entered
into and developed responsibly and compassionately. It is, in
fact, biologically inevitable that we develop sexually at puberty
in physical ways. Historically, the advent of sexual activity,
both masturbatory and partnered, has generally been assumed to
be a natural adjunct of this physical development. Almost all
cultures, whether primitive or modern, devise social structures
and meanings around both the physical process of sexual maturation
and around sexual activity. |
04.11.02: essay & commentary
R. Gay: A Fat Girl's Rhapsody |
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| There is something about the gaunt faces and angled bodies of
these girls that at once attracts and repulses you. You wonder
what holds their bodies together. You envy the way their flesh
is stretched taught against their brittle bones. You envy the
way their clothes hang listlessly from their bodies, as if they
aren't even being worn, but rather, floating -- a veritable vestment
halo rewarding their thinness. The reporter speaks with disdain
about the rigorous exercise regimens these girls put themselves
through, the starvation, the obsession with their bodies. And
still, you are envious because these girls have the willpower. |
04.11.02: essay & commentary
Rachel Barenblat: My Life in Fuck-Me Shoes |
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| My sister says there are two kinds of shoes: fuck-me shoes, and
fuck-you shoes. I've spent most of the last decade wearing the
latter, in rebellion against - or is it "in recovery from" --
an adolescence of the former. |
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| Recently added to the subscribers archive: Benn Ray: Woods Porn • Hanne Blank: Late Night Thoughts On An
Early Spring Sugar High • Debra Hyde: New Tricks • Maura H.: The
Girl Next Door • Raven Kaldera: Confessions of an Obsessive Witness
• Geoff Cordner: Crime Blotter • Raven Kaldera: Double Cross •
Leila Raven: Notes on My Naked Career • Hanne Blank: So, You Want
to Write Erotica? • Nicholas Urfé: Etiquette • Debra Hyde: Parallel
Thrills • Heather Corinna: Chronology of a Fixation... |
| & more nonfiction |
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12.07.06: Scarlet Letters -- in case it isn't glaringly obvious -- is currently
on an extended hiatus. The web has changed, we've changed, and
we're trying to figure out how we both fit together now, which isn't a process we want to rush.
In the meantime, by all means, enjoy our years of past content,
all of which still remain in the public and subscription areas.
If you're looking for more current SL-related content, you can
have check out upcoming books from editor Heather Corinna and previous co-editor Hanne Blank, check out Heather's current sexuality sites, or explore sites through the femmerotic network. We hope to be back with you soon, as fresh, challenging and
unexpected as ever.
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