| .. |
|
||||
| Heather Corinna, the charming, tireless force behind the women's
erotica magazine Scarlet Letters, does more than just boot underage
visitors from her site-she gives them a room of their own. [Scarleteen],
with its frank and funny discussions of sexual anatomy, relationships
and technique, is like a drink of cool water amidst the desert
of clinical sex advice. Geared toward 14-17 year-old girls, the
site's mission statement nearly brought tears to my eyes, "What
we wish most is that this site will allow you to see that your
sexuality isn't shameful, and that sexuality is not an adult condition,
but a human one. Who you are sexually is but one facet of who
you are: and if you act upon that sexuality in a way which respects
yourself, and those you engage, it is never wrong, and will always
benefit you and bring you joy." To that end, the site attempts
to give girls the tools to make clear choices about their sex
lives, covering not only the how to's of things like having orgasms
or using latex, but information on sexual abuse, abortion and
pregnancy. Corinna's comments about the type of sex advice sought by her readers echoed what other Q&A experts have said about the overall shabby state of youth sex education, "Sadly, I get as many questions about girls worried they got pregnant by getting fingered, or are wondering if vaginal fluid is uncontrolled urine as I get (from nearly the same breed of girls) asking if they should take a second partner because their boyfriend wants to. All in all, what is becoming clear to me is that most likely, sex ed in the schools is getting more and more useless, none is happening at home, and all the sex ed they are getting is from the media." Legions of teens concur that school and at-home sex education falls appallingly short, and have taken matters into their own hands. Two sites which rely on teen contributions are Sex, Etc. and Teenwire. The bulk of the content on Sex, Etc. is generated by teens, so it feels more intimate, kind of like a peer discussion, delving into topics such as embarrassing erections, masturbation, and sexual preference, in addition to the usual fare: contraception, STDs, sexual harassment, and readiness for sex. It offers a discussion board which posts one question per month; the most recent impressed me by tackling a difficult subject head on, yet challenging respondents to think/act responsibly. The question: "Is it true that sex doesn't feel as good without a condom? If yes, are you more willing to live with pleasure than risk, why?" Teenwire, an offshoot of Planned Parenthood, weighs in more heavily on issues related to sexual health, but offers some invaluable advice, such as "how to get your mom to take you to the gynecologist" and "how to initiate a sex talk with your parents" (now there's a switch!). Teenwire editor Kim Jack Riley says the site's most popular areas are the FAQs, and the most often asked questions begin with "Could I be pregnant if...What is this discharge Am I normal if..." There's no discussion board, but a zine called "Hothouse" features essays about sex submitted by teens. One of my favorite features is a section called "world views" where youth from other countries provide interesting cultural comparisons on sexual values and practices, such as, "In France, 12 and 13-year-olds can go out unchaperoned. I don't know why, but it might have to do with the fact that my friends and I can go to our parents and talk to them about things like birth control and sexual practices without them getting hysterical," says Veronique. "Also, in French society, people talk more openly about sex." And while many are the teen sites that deal with disease prevention and contraception, few are those that deal with the realities of living with an STD or a baby. One of the newest and most exciting is Girl-mom, which offers teen moms a place to build community and trade stories via posted articles and an active discussion board. As site founder Bee Lavender explains, "As a young mother I experienced discrimination in every aspect of my life. Physicians and medical staff were condescending. College faculty and counselors encouraged me to drop out of school. Strangers on the street commented on my age, clothing, and parenting choices. I was radicalized by these experiences. My education and career choices were formed in response to the social stigma of being a teenage parent. But I never viewed my child as a 'mistake' or poor choice. My sexuality, my pregnancy, and my lifestyle are not open to public debate." I wish the politicians and right wingers would shut up long enough to listen to what teens have to say. We are talking about their lives, after all. Sex, Etc. conducted interviews within its peer group to assess the current state of sex education, and offered this summary, "Regardless of how teens characterized the courses, most still complained that teachers spend too much time naming body parts and not enough time exploring the emotions and responsibilities involved with having sex." High school boys participating in a seminar were charged with determining what topics they felt should be covered in a sex education course; at the top of the list were sexually transmitted diseases, masturbation, sexual intercourse, sexual desire and contraception. And while plenty of kids agree that sex education should come from the parents, most complained that they weren't getting enough information. Parents, this is your chance to change that. Bookmark these sites and give your kid the key to informed and responsible sexual decision-making. For more advice on incorporating the internet into your child's sex education, along with reviews of appropriate sites, check out the book, The Woman's Guide to Sex on the Web, available from Good Vibrations. © 1999 by Anne Semans, all rights reserved. |
|||||
 |
| .. | visual art • prose & poetry • nonfiction • artists in residence • archive • home |
