|
Dear Fat Broad,
Do you know anything about the subject of cuckolding? I was a
virgin at 22 when I married my wife. She was very experienced
and taught me all about sex. I lost my virginity on our wedding
night. She jokes that we are a role-reversal because I was a virgin
and she is very sexually aggressive. She is exactly the person
I was waiting to lose my virginity to! She let me know when we
first got together that her vibe collection intimidated a lot
of her boyfriends. I currently hold her vibrator and move it while
she looks at her Playgirl issue. She has the wildest orgasms with her vibe! I've always
liked power tools, so I thought it was fun, so what if they are
larger than me!
I have a small penis and you are either ok with it or hung -up
about it (sorry about the pun). My wife loves to tease me about
its size and I find it quite a turn-on! Once she even measured
me in front of her all her girlfriends, which lead to me serving
drinks to them in the nude! By the way this is now a requirement
when the girls get together at our house. Her friends get a kick
out of me being there to serve them food and drink while I'm naked.
I do not mind being around what some would call "strong willed
girls." I never thought I would get so much attention!
I just want to give her the gift of pleasuring herself with someone
else, but only if she wants to. I would feel comfortable with
her having sex with another man for her sexual pleasure if she
wanted to while I remained faithful. |
|
- Best Boy |
|
Hey, I like your attitude. It always puts a smile on my face to
see someone who approaches their desires with a grin and a sense
of both humor and perspective. I want you to keep on having a
good time with your sex life and your life with your wife. That's
why I'm going to tell you that the first thing you need to do
is to take some time to think about this very seriously. It sounds
like you've got a pretty heavy-duty submission/humiliation dynamic
going down, and like you're enjoying it a lot and want to make
your wife having sex with someone else a part of it. It's not
all that uncommon for people to be interested in the fantasy of
their partners sleeping with other people -- often people are
particularly interested in the idea of being allowed to watch
while such a thing takes place, too. So it sounds like you know
what turns you on, and that's a good start.
And in truth, this sort of situation can work out just fine, if
it is in fact what you really want, something that your wife wants,
and something you've both talked about in terms of its ramifications
to your relationship. These kinds of things can be manageable
and they can be a lot of fun for everyone involved... if they are handled responsibly and sensibly.
But before you get there, you need to do some serious talking
with your wife. Honestly, you really should be talking about this
entire dynamic you've got going -- the teasing, your being physically
exposed and teased in front of other women, your thoughts about
your wife potentially sleeping with someone else, the whole shootin'
match, because if you haven't talked about it in an adult, thoughtful,
reasonable way, you're not doing your relationship homework.
Whether you've thought about it that way or not, what you and
your wife are engaging in is a form of BDSM, namely D/s with the
primary dynamic being one of humiliation, exposure, voyeurism,
exhibitionism, and teasing. So far so good, and you've apparently
learned to enjoy the attention and being more sexually submissive
than you are aggressive. It's nice that you and your wife seem
well-matched this way, I hear a lot of complaints from people
in marriages where inclinations in regard to dominance and submission
aren't nearly so good a matchup.
However, that doesn't change the fact that what you do sexually
in your relationship needs to be consensual and mutually articulated
as being such. If it isn't, it runs a significant chance of not
being healthy somewhere along the line, or of causing friction
in various ways. Since that can mean bad things for your relationship
and for both of you, potentially, I think it's high time y'all
sat down and had some good long heart-to-hearts about what's going
on and what you want to have go on. Remember that the watchwords here are safe, sane,
and consensual.
This will also mean that the two of you need to take some time
to educate yourselves about what you've been up to and what you're thinking about doing.
And I mean reading stuff that isn't jerk-off material, but actual
serious books on the subject of dominance, submission, and BDSM
dynamics and relationships. I would highly, highly recommend that
your wife read them too, or better yet, read 'em together and
discuss what you read. Here are some good titles to start with
(Just FYI, no, I don't get a kickback from Greenery Press! They
just happen to put out a lot of good books on the subjects you
need to know about in your case.):
- SM 101: A Realistic Introduction, Jay Wiseman (Greenery Press)
- The Bottoming Book: Getting Good at Being Bad (Greenery Press)
- The Sexually Dominant Woman: A Workbook for Nervous Beginners, Lady Green (Greenery Press)
- The Mistress Manual: A Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance, Mistress Lorelei (Greenery Press)
- Training With Miss Abernathy (Greenery Press)
Then, and before you even so much as think about opening up your relationship to other partners, you owe
it to yourself to read these next two books I'm about to recommend.
Again, have your wife read them too, and discuss what you find
in them... if none of this pushes any of your buttons, check your
pulse. You may be dead.
- Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits: Secrets of Sustainable
Intimate Relationships, Dr. Deborah M. Anapol (Intinet Resource Center)
- The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities, Dossie Easton & Catherine A. Liszt (Greenery Press)
If you've done all your homework, had a lot of good discussions,
and both of you are of the same opinion about wanting to pursue
opening up your relationship, either in an egalitarian way or
in a one-sided way, then go ahead, rock on, have at it, etc.
But remember, tootsie: the reality of having your partner sleep
with someone else, or be in a relationship with someone else,
can be very different from the fantasy. It's obvious from the tone of your
note to me that you're very turned on writing about it. This is
usually a blazing Defcon 4 sign to me that the person writing
hasn't spent a hell of a lot of time thinking seriously about the thing that is turning them on so much... because really,
ya know, this is pretty heavy, potentially relationship-ruining
stuff you're talking about here if it isn't handled intelligently
and with a lot of mutual respect and responsibility. Hell, sometimes
even when it is handled with a lot of intelligence and forethought,
things can still go seriously kablooey.
Not to put too fine a point on it, just telling yourself that
you're a submissive person and you like it when your wife takes
control, that you like being at the end of her teasing and humiliation,
that you like serving her and like her to do things that "use"
you in various ways is not necessarily enough to get you through
when push comes to shove. Trust me, it ain't pretty.
You want to make sure you consider all the issues, not just the
parts that turn you on. How would you deal with it if your wife
fell in love with the other man with whom she was having sex?
How would you feel if she dominated him in ways similar to the
ways she dominates you? What would you think if your wife wanted
to spend a weekend, or a week, with her new sexual partner? What
kind of boundaries do you think are realistic for you in terms
of what would be okay for you if you were to actually do this,
and what are not? How realistic are those boundaries, and how
easy are they going to be to maintain? You'll both need to think
and talk a lot about these kinds of issues, not just before you
embark upon opening up your marriage, but all the way through
the process of doing so.
You may also want to consider (strongly) getting involved in your
local BDSM community. I guarantee you there is one. And I guarantee
you that there are many male submissives who will share your enthusiasm
for being creatively pussywhipped in various lovely ways (and
probably quite a few lovely goddess women who might be able to
give your wife some pointers on how to keep you in line if the
two of you so desire). Talking with and hanging out with people
who participate in similar kinds of sexual power dynamics is an
important way to learn how to do it sanely and safely yourself.
Plus, kinky people are a lot of fun, in general. Check the websites
at the National Leather Association International and The Eulenspiegel Society for information about some great BDSM organizations (they both
have pretty extensive links collections). Don't worry if you don't
think you're into BDSM -- trust me, you are. It isn't all whips
and chains. There are a lot of people who are into the D/s aspect
(Domination and submission) and not the other stuff. It's all
fine, and well-accepted within BDSM circles.
Look around some. Learn a lot. Play safe, and have fun. Respect
yourself, respect your wife, respect your relationship, and respect
your brain and your sanity. Do whatever is safe, sane, consensual,
and turns you on, but don't do it in ignorance, or assuming that
reality is going to be exactly like your fantasies. You may have
fantasies of flying an airplane, but you'd be a fool to just hop
in the cockpit without learning something about it first, right?
Right. Enough said.
Want to ask the Fat Broad a question? Email her. |
