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| Dear Fat Broad, My lover and I recently started to have anal sex. It is the first time for either of us. The sex is great. And she easily takes all of me in her ass. It's become her favorite way to fuck. When I was discussing anal with a friend of mine the other day she stated she wouldn't try anal because she doesn't want to be "shitting [herself] and wearing diapers prematurely." So, Wise and All-Knowing One, what's the truth, can anal intercourse lead to incontinence of bowel? - Milady’s Butt-Boy |
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| You’ll be happy to know that despite what your butt-phobe friend
says, you don’t have much to worry about. Anal leakage is actually
not all that common, even in the elderly. The anal sphincter is
a pretty strong muscle, and our conditioning in regard to it is
pretty strong too. Generally, anal leakage becomes a problem when the muscles of the anal sphincter and/or rectum have been repeatedly injured or overstressed. As long as you’re not forcing anything up anyone’s butthole, you won’t be causing damage to the sphincters. The best way to know whether or not you’re at risk of causing damage to a sphincter is simply this: when you do it wrong, it hurts! It hurts when you push in too fast without giving the sphincter a chance to relax to accommodate whatever’s penetrating it. It hurts if you penetrate the sphincter with an object that is too large for it to comfortably accommodate, and force it to stretch more than it can stretch without tearing. It hurts when you don’t use enough lubrication, and the delicate mucosa become battered, scratched, and even torn. To which I offer this simple, nay, classic solution: if it hurts, don’t do it! Doubtless you’ve already figured this out. The secrets to great anal sex are relaxation, communication, and plenty of lube. If your anal sex includes plenty of water-based lubricant, good communication about what feels good and what doesn’t, and no rushing to force your way in before your partner’s ass is ready for you, you should be all set. Ironically, while anal penetration done properly doesn’t cause problems, the opposite, being overly anal-retentive in a literal way, really can. People who obsessively hold back when they need to shit or pass gas can overtax their anal sphincter and rectal walls to the point where the muscles are damaged by overtightening them when there’s something in there that genuinely does need to come out. To get an idea of why this happens, make a fist and squeeze it as tightly as you can for 10 minutes. Go ahead, try it. I guarantee you it won’t feel very good when you’re done - and that’s if you even manage ten solid minutes. Now imagine what it must be like for your anal sphincter if you’re actively and habitually repressing the need to shit or fart for long periods of time. Not too fun, eh? Over time, this sort of thing can cause permanent damage to the relevant muscles, and yes indeedy, what the docs call an “incompetent sphincter” can be the result. Not farting, in other words, is bad for you. So, as Benjamin Franklin wrote in 1776, “fart proudly.” * You might wish to offer that little bit of data to the evidently tight-assed person who tried to scare you off of anal penetration, incidentally. Who knows, it could save her from a skid-marked future. So, yeah. If you’re having anal intercourse without pain or incident, either during or afterwards, you’re probably fine. Do be on the alert for anal fissures -- small tears in the lining of the anus -- which can happen due to too much friction or penetration with something overly rough or sharp. This translates to “clip those fingernails, and use lots of lube.” Using condoms for penis or dildo penetration and latex gloves for penetration with fingers is also helpful, as latex provides a far smoother surface than skin and lube tends to coat more smoothly and evenly. If you do experience some anal bleeding, or if there is lingering pain in the anus after penetration, lay off for a week or so to give it time to heal and all should be well. Lingering discomfort or prolonged anal itching can be due to either a healing fissure or to hemmorhoids (which are varicose veins in the anus or rectum). If you or your partner experience these symptoms, have a doctor check things out just to make sure all is well; in the meantime, cool sitz baths can help. Occasionally an anal fissure can lead to a rather unpleasant type of infection, an affair known as an anal fistula, which requires medical treatment and occasionally surgical intervention. Fortunately, they’re easy to avoid if you just take care of yourself and don’t try anything stupid. Probably 90% of avoiding butt-fucking mishaps is simple common sense. The other 10% of avoiding problems in the pooper department is lube. My personal favorite for butt play of all sorts is Maximus, made by Bodywise, the same UK company that makes Liquid Silk. Maximus is clear, thick, doesn’t smell or taste funky, doesn’t get sticky when it dries, and it’s the right blend of clingy and slippery for me and lots of others. There are others that work well, too, although some of the lighter-weight lubricants that work just fine for vaginal sex aren’t quite up to heavier duty. Many of my friends love Probe, since it, too, is thick enough to work well for backdoor fun. I find that the general rule for lube and butt play is to use about 50% more lube than you think you probably need, because the butt does not produce its own lubrication. Put down a towel or a tarp or something else to protect your sheets... and have fun! If you’re planning on having a lot of butt sex, I highly recommend the book Anal Pleasure and Health by Dr. Jack Morin. It’s 270 pages of very detailed butt lore, from the most basic to the most esoteric, and makes a great item to put on your guest-room bookshelf (a thoughtful host provides entertaining reading material, doncha know). Bottoms up! * Yes, he really did. Look it up. Or go buy a copy for yourself out from Enthea Press; ISBN: 089804801X. Want to ask the Fat Broad a question? Email her. |
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12.07.06: Scarlet Letters -- in case it isn't glaringly obvious -- is currently
on an extended hiatus. The web has changed, we've changed, and
we're trying to figure out how we both fit together now, which isn't a process we want to rush. If you're looking for more current SL-related content, you can
have check out upcoming books from editor Heather Corinna and previous co-editor Hanne Blank, check out Heather's current sexuality sites, or explore sites through the femmerotic network. We hope to be back with you soon, as fresh, challenging and
unexpected as ever.
In the meantime, by all means, enjoy our years of past content,
all of which still remain in the public and subscription areas.
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