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When I was deciding whether to continue on the career path that
my university education had led me to, or to switch paths entirely
and become a sexual performer, I sought out a connection with
someone with some insight and experience in adult entertainment.
You could say I went straight to the top of my field of interest:
I emailed Nina Hartley.
I wasn't sure what would come out of it, but based on what I had
read of Hartley's philosophies and experiences I thought that
if anyone could give me advice on working in porn it would be
Nina. A few days later, I was pleasantly surprised to receive
a personal reply. She answered my concerns with kindness and candor.
Her generosity of spirit and the sensible nature of her reply,
I felt, was worthy of great respect and admiration.
Author Magdalene Meretrix has created a guide that on a larger scale offers that same admirable
generosity and wisdom. In her book, Turning Pro: A Guide to Sex Work for the Ambitious and the Intrigued, Meretrix shares her experiences as a sex worker (as a prostitute,
escort, phone sex worker, professional submissive and porn film
actress, having truly run the gamut) and delves into what is usually
shrouded in shame, fear and obscurity: the nitty gritty aspects
of sex work.
Meretrix's advice begins with the general, but essential question,
"Is sex work right for you?" Her response sets the reader up for the reality of sex work and
the personal limits that must be set. At the core are personal
attitudes towards sex and how much contact a prospective sex worker
comfortable with, both psychologically and physically. Once this
is determined, the various areas of sex work can be explored to
determine what type of work would be most suitable.
The majority of the book is divided by type of sex work: street
prostitution, peep shows, stripping, escorting, brothels, adult
movies and modeling, fetish and BDSM work, phone sex. Each type
of work is examined with simple common sense. One thing becomes
clear very quickly; legal and illegal sex work varies from city
to city, as do client expectations, employer expectations, and
pricing. Learning the law and how it is enforced (or not enforced)
and what a typical working day is like is crucial and given the
appropriate weight. Be prepared may be a scout's motto, but it
applies to a sex worker as well.
People tend to see sex work as some combination of glamour and
grit. It is easy to overlook the mundane, but necessary elements
of sex work. Some elements are pure practicality; others offer
a cushion of safety for the sex worker. Going through each area
of sex work, Meretrix confidently informs the reader of some of
the not so obvious tricks of the trade. Here are a few examples:
- Keep your expense receipts for legal sex work -sex workers pay
taxes too. (Nevada Brothels)
- Dancers who drink on the job might have fun, but you will make
more money sober. (Strip Bars)
- There is CB radio etiquette and lingo if you are streetwalking
rows of tractor trailers. It is in your best interest to learn
it. (Streetwalking)
- It is near impossible to find clients for outcall work in the
fetish and BDSM areas of sex work especially in competitive areas
where there are already established dungeons. (Fetish Work, Domination
and Submission)
- One of the best methods to keep a caller on the phone during a
phone sex session is be a good listener. Not all clients tell
you what they want so you have to able to interact with the callers
and get inside their fantasies. (Phone Sex)
- Sex workers who do not streetwalk need to use alternative ways
to market their services. Adult newspapers, third party management
and online marketing have their pros and cons. (Marketing Your
Services)
Among the diverse sorts of sex work examined in the book I was
particularly interested in reading Meretrix's take on the adult
movie and modeling industry as it is closest to the work that
I do myself. While my work has been entirely on the internet and
independently produced, what she says about the pro and mainstream
work speaks greatly to my personal experience. Her description
of the work is realistic and forthright. I especially appreciated
the questions she poses at the beginning of the chapter.
One of the first things to consider before seeking a job in porn
or nude modeling is how you will feel if your parents see a picture
of you or a film of you having sex. How will you feel about these
images 20 years from now? How will you feel if you find yourself
facing difficulty getting a non-porn job or finding a spouse because
of your involvement in porn? Unlike dancing or prostitution, where
you might be able to hide your past from most people, porn films
and adult magazines have the capacity to haunt you with physical
evidence of your sex work. If you think you might ever want to
live a "straight life", then forms of sex work that document your
involvement may not be for you. (p. 65)
Darker, more threatening elements of sex work are also addressed
in the book. First and foremost is sexual health. When it comes
to escorting and other contact sex work being knowledgeable about
STDs is vital. Meretrix devotes an entire chapter to this very
important issue. It might be assumed that sex workers would have
high rates of STDs, but as I learned, this is not the case. The
U.S. Department of Health regularly reports that prostitutes account
for 3% to 5% of STD cases, compared to teenagers who account for
30% to 35%. Being informed about STDs and consistently using safer
sex measures is likely the key to the low numbers. However, being
informed is not exclusive to sex workers. All sexually active
people can benefit from Meretrix's thorough examination of STDs
and safer sex. One of her best recommendations is to familiarize
yourself with the appearance of the various diseases at their
different stages. Even if you are a latex lover it is good to
know what to look for and be able to decide whether to avoid areas
of contact, certain sexual acts, or complete contact with certain
clients, coworkers, or lovers altogether.
Also addressed are the unpleasant realities of being arrested
and the more common experience, sex work burnout syndrome. Traditional
avenues for support and assistance are not typically available
to the distressed sex worker. Thankfully, Meretrix, other activists
and the relatively recent support organizations she lists in the
appendixes are tremendous resources.
Often people see sex work as something very simple, something
any one could do if they were desperate enough. You perform sexual
acts in exchange for money. Of course, it is never that simple
and when done well it can be highly sophisticated, inspired and
rewarding. It requires confidence, the ability to negotiate (and
I am not talking just about price), flexibility (and I am not
talking just about deep knee bends here), and those ever important
people skills of communication and empathy. Turning Pro: A Guide to Sex Work for the Ambitious and the Intrigued makes this very clear to the novice, the expert
and the curious.
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